


Together We Can See What We Will Find

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Series: GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst and Feels, Durincest, Dwarven Ones | Soulmates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Repercussions of Battle, The Spike Hit Kili's Lung And Not His Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 02:19:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17013696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: The battle is in the past and Erebor has been reclaimed.  However, Fíli and Kíli have had no real time together to complete their bond after the realization that they belonged to each other by Mahal's own hands while Kíli lay dying in Laketown.  Fíli means to rectify this, but first he needs to set his brother straight on a few things.





	Together We Can See What We Will Find

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 on Tumblr

The thing about being one of the Crown Princes -- and the Heir -- of the newly reclaimed Erebor was that someone was always wanting you for _something_. It seemed that from the time he had woken up in the healing wing someone had wanted something from Fili. He had barely been proclaimed healed enough to be back on his feet by Oin before he was being pulled here and there to go do things that now fell under his responsibility. In any other time he probably would have gritted his teeth and just accepted it without getting as upset as he was feeling lately.

But this wasn't in any other time.

This was the time in which he, Thorin, and _Kili_ had almost died.

This was the time in which some very determined Orcs had tried to wipe out their entire family line because of some kind of grudge they had against Thorin and his ancestors.

This was the time that even with a sword shoved through his back and his body cast from a cliff, the wounds Fili possessed were not as bad as the ones that Kili had taken on his body. The ones that had caused Gandalf to call in elven healers to attend to because nothing Oin or any other dwarven medic was doing was helping him to continue his survival. He had been horrified when he woke up and saw Kili... his Kili... wrapped up in so many layers of bandaging around his chest and midsection -- bandages that seemed to have to fight to keep the blood from leaving Kili's body.

When he was well enough to talk and ask questions, he had demanded to know what happened to his brother; to his _One_.

 _"Iron spike through the chest,"_ he had been told. _"Nicked his heart."_ _"It barely missed landing square in his heart."_ _"Lucky to be alive."_

He had been thoroughly sick from both the details of his brother's wounds and the fact that his brother had yet to show any signs of waking up while he lay beside him. When Fili was well enough to move about a little bit, he demanded his cot be moved closer to Kili's and he spent a great deal of time sitting in a chair pulled as close to Kili's side as he could get.

But then, bit by careful bit, he had healed and in all of that time, Kili seemed to be no closer to coming back to him. Even when Fili was declared hale and hearty, he spent as much time beside his brother as he possibly could. However, with Erebor being out of their hands for so long there was a great bit of work to be done and affairs to be managed. Fili had _responsibilities_ now and because of this, he was not by Kili's side the day his brother had finally opened his eyes.

He heard about it, of course. Oin had sent Ori running to him with a message that Kili had returned to them, but he was in yet another damn meeting and by the time he was able to go to Kili, he was sleeping. He wasn't allowed to stay the night with him so he had reluctantly returned to his own quarters with the hopes of seeing Kili the next day.

But things didn't happen like that and he missed out on quite a bit of his brother's healing and his struggles to recuperate as the spike had not only nicked his heart but had caused damage to his lung. He would probably always have breathing issues and pain when it got to be too cold according to Oin and one of the elves that had worked on Kili. (The elf had been insulted that he hadn't been permitted to heal Kili completely and he hadn't understood the pride of dwarves or the lingering distrust Thorin still held for all elves. Fili, for his part, would have demanded the elf completely heal his brother if he had been allowed to have any say. When Dis arrived, she had plenty to say about Thorin's attitude and the fact that Kili would now always have lingering pain and issues from the damn battle.)

Now, some months later, he and Kili always seemed to be kept apart at various tasks. While he was being ambassador and heir, Kili was the lead hunter and assistant captain of the guard. He was second only to Dwalin in that respect. They would see each other at meal times and when they returned to their shared quarters at night. However, they didn't really get much time to talk, catch up or bond as sometimes they were too tired or there was obvious tension in the air between them.

Fili wasn't sure how much more of this he could take or how much more pain he could see clouding his brother's once laughing and joyful eyes.

Fili fell into a troubled sleep that night, worried that something was going to come that would sever the bond he and Kili had always held in such love and pride. They didn't fight, not at all, but Fili would sometimes see his brother watching him and there was such sadness on his face before he remembered to hide it that Fili felt that he needed to do something, and soon.

Kili was his _One_ , but they hadn't had much time to accept that or relish that additional bond since it had been something that became obvious to them only when Kili lay dying from the orc poison in Bard's home. Then after Tauriel healed him, there had been no time to discuss it or to even catch their breath.

Now, Fili wondered if the pain he was seeing in Kili was because he hadn't done anything to cement their bond. He couldn't even remember referring to Kili as his One since he had woken up. Had they even mentioned it to each other at all since that night in Lake Town? He didn't know but tomorrow he would send a message to Balin and Thorin that he would be unavailable for any meetings, trainings, or anything else for the next three days at the very least. This was more important and he knew that they would honor his words because the bond between Ones was the most scared in their culture and not even the King could interfere.

Not that he thought Thorin would allow anyone to do so. His Uncle may have a reputation outside of the family and company of being a hard man, but his family knew him to have nothing but love and affection for those he cared about. It had almost killed him when he thought he had lost both of his nephews -- and him dealing with his own battles and recovery. He had hated it almost as much as Fili that they had been pulled from Kili's side when he was still so dangerously close to death. There had been nothing that he could have done to put things off during that time, but now, almost a full year later, he would agree that they could do without Fili for a few days. Anyone who tried to argue would be taken in hand quite quickly.

The next morning when he awoke, he sent off the messages and returned to his room. Entering their shared living area, he could hear Kili moving around his own room slowly. A chill had crept into the air overnight and since the two of them had chosen a suite of rooms closer to the top level where they could open windows or stand on the balcony Kili had fallen in love with, the air inside their rooms had gotten cooler than normal.

Which meant that Kili was probably feeling stirrings of pain as he hadn't thought to light a fire before going to bed. To be fair, neither had Fili, but he was not the one with the damaged heart and lung. He quietly opened the door to Kili's room and slipped inside, catching sight of Kili trying to light a fire and contain his shivering. It wasn't freezing in the room by any event, but he could see that his brother was in pain by the way he kept stopping and wrapping an arm around himself as he shook.

Feeling nothing but sorrow and remnants of anger that Kili had to go through this, he walked over and pressed himself against Kili's back, wrapping his arms across the front of his brother. Kili stiffened for a moment, but then realized it was Fili seeking him and so he relaxed, leaning back into him.

"You're warm," he murmured contentedly. "And you're going to be late for the morning council meeting."

"I am and I'm not going. I sent messages to Thorin and Balin. I'm taking at least three days away, maybe longer."

He could feel the sudden concern radiating from his brother. "Are you ill?"

"No, but I will be and so will you if we let this distance go on much longer. You're darkening and withdrawing from me, Kili. I can see it... and I can feel it. You're holding yourself apart."

"I'm not holding myself away from you, Fili, not intentionally," Kili said quietly. "I just know that you have so many people and responsibilities pulling at you that adding any more to it because of me and my needs and wants seems a bit selfish of me."

"You're my One, Kee. You come before all else. I thought that you knew that."

"I know that in another time, I am supposed to and you are supposed to come before all else with me. But that was before we almost died reclaiming Erebor and you became the Heir in truth and..."

"And?" He was pretty sure he was not going to like whatever idea had been burrowing into Kili's mind, but he needed to know it so that he could get rid of it once and for all.

"And before I became less than I was before."

That was definitely not what he was expecting.

"Why do you think I see you as less than you were before?"

"We don't talk like we used to and even when we are alone, I see the shadows in your eyes when you look at me. They told you I will never be as I once was because the cold can cause me pain and even cause my heart or that blasted wounded lung to stop working." He swallowed. "You need someone who you can count on to be at your side no matter what; and definitely no matter the weather. We always said I was going to be your Captain of the Guard and your right-hand dwarf, but how can I be that when a change in the weather can cause me to fail you?" He closed his eyes, even though Fili couldn't see him, letting out a sad sigh. "I see your worry and your pain. I know how much you love me and would seek to protect me... but I am not to be counted on as your Guard, or your One. I know that, you know that, and I know you will need to make hard decisions soon for the good of the kingdom and your later rule. I know this is how it has to be, but it still hurts and it still breaks something inside of me to have to one day face what the Orcs really have taken away from me even after the battle is well and truly over."

Fili was silent for a long moment. How in Mahal's name had Kili gotten it into his head that a One could be _set aside_ or that he even would do such a thing to him? What could make him think that he was anything less than the most wonderful, most beloved thing that had ever happened in his life?

"When Mahal gave you to me as my brother, I vowed then and there that I would never lose you and would always be there for you, Kili. When Mahal gave you to me as my One, I swore no one would separate us and I would not ever be without you." His voice was firm. "You are my brother, my love, my One, and no one, not even Mahal himself will ever be able to change that."

Kili seemed to droop against him. "And if I fail you or let you down?"

"You will not. It's not possible." He kissed the tip of Kili's ear. "Yes, the battle caused some far-reaching issues that we will need to address, but we can address them, Kili. The most important thing to me is that you are _alive_. Had you not come back to me from the shadows of death and had traveled to the Halls, you would have taken the better part of everything I am. There is no me without you, Kili. You need to remember that."

"I will try, Fili," Kili whispered. "I just worry that I will fail you when you most need me to be strong and I would never be able to bear it if something happened to you because I failed."

"Kili, you could never, will never fail me."

Fili knew that right now Kili was so lost in the screwed up logic his mind was giving him that he would need to do something rather drastic to break him free of that. Without thinking very much about what he was doing and just _reacting_ , Fili let one of his hands drift down the front of Kili's chest. He moved the sleeping shirt he wore out of his way and slipped his hand into his pants that he had apparently hastily pulled on when he felt the cold this morning. At the same time he allowed his hand to curl around his brother's hardening cock, he turned his head and carefully but firmly bit into the side of Kili's neck.

He felt Kili stiffen against him, but he knew Kili's body like he knew his own and knew that this was not the same kind of reaction he had earlier when Fili had startled him with an embrace. No, this time there was none of that guarded tension that Kili often wore as of late. This reaction was because of the shock of pleasure that went through his body at Fili's actions. Most would think that Fili was being overly bold, but the truth was that this was as natural to him as breathing. He had held Kili enough throughout their lives to know just about every way his body would react. While he had never overtly set out to cause Kili's body to react with lust towards him, he knew what his brother's body did when he was feeling such an emotion. The only difference now was that he was allowed to touch and to mark. He was allowed to do the things that he had wanted to do before but had always been afraid were the wrong things to think about when it came to one's brother.

Before he had been taught the meaning of _Ones_ and how you didn't choose them, Mahal chose them for you.

Before he realized Kili was his One and before he had been assured by the older dwarves in their company family that they had always known and had waited for the youngsters to figure it out themselves.

And what a messed up time to figure it out -- while Kili lay dying from an arrow coated in Orc poison. An arrow he took to his leg because he was risking himself to raise the gate and free the rest of them from Thranduil's captivity.

His own cock had started to harden as he stroked Kili and now he pressed himself and his hardening member against the curve of Kili's ass. He couldn't help but notice how even standing up, he was able to rest his cock in the space between quite easily. This didn't surprise him for wasn't Kili carved specifically for him by their creator? He only wondered if he would fit that perfectly when he was actually _inside_ Kili's body.

It was something that he was very much looking forward to finding out and soon.

He released Kili's neck from his teeth, drawing the flat of his tongue along that area to soothe it. He bit again, worrying the area slightly, smiling as he heard Kili's gasp and felt him pressing back against him.

"You're mine, and I'm yours, Kili. Nothing and no one will ever change that."

"Show me?"

Fili knew how much it had taken his brother to make that request. He was still feeling unsteady and he needed Fili, needed his _One_ to reassure him of his value and his place in Fili's life right now. They had been through so much since their first realization of how they were bonded to each other that he couldn't believe Kili hadn't asked him long before this morning.

Kili, who had never been patient in anything, or in holding back his voice when he needed or wanted something.

"I will my love, my treasure... for you have always been worth more than all the gold and treasure in Erebor or anywhere else to me." He pulled back and turned Kili in his arms so that he could pull his face to him and kiss him like he had wanted to for so long.

He couldn't describe how that first kiss tasted to him, but what he could say was that it was everything that was right. He had wanted to kiss Kili and kiss him deeply for so long and he knew that this time he let out a sound of pleasure when Kili's mouth opened beneath his and their tongues wrapped around each other. He continued kissing him until they both needed to breathe and he felt his brother shaking.

"I want you, Kili. I want to show you how much I love you and how beautiful and desirable you have always been to me -- even before I knew why I felt this way about you." He stroked his face. "Will you let me have you and will you have me in return? Will you join with me and allow us to finally seal this next part of our bond?"

Kili nodded. "I've always been yours, Fili. I've always wanted to know that I was yours and that I wanted you to be mine as well."

Fili let out a soft sigh and touched his forehead to his brother's. "I have always wanted you, Kili. There was the need and desire for you even when I didn't understand why it was happening. I didn't understand and was so afraid that what I was feeling was wrong and that you would hate me if you ever knew. I never wanted to scare you with my need or to push you away because you were disgusted or didn't feel the same way about me."

"I could never have pushed you away or been disgusted by how you felt, Fili, for I was feeling the same way. I was realizing that I didn't feel as a brother should when I looked at you or when I was near to you. I fought with it, trying to hide it because I would not lose you for anything. But what fate an outcast of a dwarf who falls even further by falling in love with his golden lion prince of a brother?" He sighed. "In Laketown, I knew I was dying, and I was accepting of that fate because at least the last thing I would see was your face and the love you still had for me."

Fili used his hand to brush some of Kili's hair out of his face, fingers stilling along his cheek. "If you had died, you would have taken my heart and my soul with you, Kili. That is something I could not have borne and would not have been able to deal with in any way. I do not doubt that it would not have been long before I joined you -- linked as we are. Seeing you in so much pain at Bard's house not only scared me for you, but it _hurt_ me to see you suffering and not be able to do anything to fix it for you."

"You being there, holding onto me even as everything was darkening around me helped me to keep fighting. All was dark but you were casting light to keep me from being lost." Kili swallowed and looked down, embarrassed. "You were my light, Fili. The only light I needed."

Fili lifted his chin up so he could see his eyes again. "Do not ever be embarrassed to tell me how you see me or how I am able to aid you in times you need my strength. You say I am your light, but you are mine as well. So many times in our lives -- and especially during our journey here -- it was your laughter and your eyes who kept my strength up. It was you being you that gave me the reason to keep going and face each trial and setback that seemed happy to come our way."

"I would do anything to keep you smiling and being the golden lion that you always have been. You are the sun and should always shine like one."

Fili touched his forehead to Kili's. "I want to kiss you until we are gasping for air. I want to touch every inch of you that my hands and mouth can reach. I want to lay you out and _show_ you how much I love you and how much I need you."

Kili drew in a breath at Fili's words, his skin heating as his mind filled itself with images of what his brother could do and he grasped his arms. "I have never wanted anything more." He paused, weighing something and then met Fili's eyes. _"Amralime."_

Fili's smile could have lit up the room and he pulled Kili closer to him, tightening his arms around him even as his lips moved to his brother's ear. _"Ekûnê. Men lananubukhs menu, Givashel."_

_"Menu tessu, Fili."_

Fili groaned, pressing himself against Kili even as he tilted his head up again so that he could kiss him again. The more he held onto his brother, the more he needed, the more he wanted. They had been too long apart, had gone too long without completing the next part of their bond and he found he could not wait any longer. From the sounds Kili was making and the way his hands were moving over his back and arms, his brother could not bring himself to wait, either. He pulled back reluctantly trying to get his breathing and his urges under some kind of control.

"I mean to have you, my love, but I will not have our first time be against cold stone."

He smiled, leaning in to bite gently at Kili's bottom lip, feeling gratified when he moaned and tried to press against him again. He moved, not allowing Kili's mouth to connect with his again. There were many more things he wanted and Kili's bedchamber was no place for any of them. Plus, in his opinion, it was too damn chilly in here for the things he planned to do to his beloved.

He took his hand and tugged at him, walking backward until they had left Kili's bedroom, passed through their shared chambers and were in Fili's much warmer room. He left Kili alone for only a moment to make sure that their outer door to their living quarters was securely locked and then he was back and moving back into Kili's personal space again.

"You are so beautiful, Kili. I could stand here and look at you forever if I needed to." He smiled as his brother's cheeks colored a faint pink and he reached out to pull him closer by his tunic. "However, there are many things I would like to do to you and only looking at you, as much as it pleases me, is not very high on that list."

Kili smiled shyly and then brushed his lips against Fili's cheek. _"Ûrzudel_... I am yours. _Menu zirup men."_

Fili groaned, wrapping an arm around Kili's waist while pulling his tunic up and over his head.

_"Menu tessu, kurduh. Menu tessu."_

Kili's tunic was dropped to the floor without ceremony and then Fili was kissing him again, breaking away from his lips only to run his lips and tongue down the side of his neck and then ducking to nip lightly at the flesh of his throat. He licked at the spot he had just nipped and then stepped back, looking at Kili.

"I believe that we would be more comfortable, and this would be a lot easier on the bed."

Kili's nod was all of the answer he needed and he pulled him to the bed, laying him down and then sitting back to look his fill.

It was a very good thing he had advised Thorin and the others he would not be available to them for at least three days. He and Kili had a great deal of time and a lot of pent-up desire and need to address.

As he stretched himself over Kili's body, he wondered if he had given them enough time.

A thought that was immediately forgotten when Kili's arms wrapped around his neck and pull him down fully on top of him so that they could feel the closeness of their bodies in the same space once again.

It would probably be some time before either one of them considered anything but their need for each other.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Khuzdul Used:**  
> 
>  **Amralime** \-- My beloved  
>  **Ekûnê** \-- My one  
>  **Men lananubukhs menu, Givashel** \-- I love you, Treasure of all treasures.  
>  **Menu tessu** \-- You are everything  
>  **Ûrzudel** \-- Sun of all suns  
>  **Menu zirup men** \-- You complete me  
>  **Kurduh** \-- My heart


End file.
